Touch of Class Guest Characters


Lord Melbury


Actor: Michael Gwynn

Episode: A Touch of Class

Occupation: Conman

Personality: On the surface, Lord Melbury comes across as a refined English gentleman.

Events: At first Basil thinks that Lord Melbury is just another average punter, but when he discovers that he is apparently a Lord, he gets the full grovelling treatment. From then on Lord Melbury gets accidentally dumped on the floor, cashed a dodgy cheque, found after much distress from Basil that he is a fraud, and then virtually beaten up by Basil.

Lord Melbury Quote [Basil keeps a guest waiting and then realises that the guest is a “Lord”]:
Lord Melbury: No, I am *Lord* Melbury, so I simply sign myself “Melbury”.
Basil: … I’m *so* sorry to have kept you waiting, your lordship… I *do* apologize, *please* forgive me. Now, was there something, is there something, anything, I can do for you? Anything at all?


Danny Brown


Actor: Robin Ellis

Episode: A Touch of Class

Occupation: Detective

Personality: Sports car driver, speaks with a cockney accent and is fluent in Spanish.

Events: Basil takes an instant dislike to Danny Brown, who he views as one of the lower orders with his blunt manner and coarse language. Danny Brown is similar in personality to Mr Johnson in The Psychiatrist, who Basil also treats with contempt. Basil’s preconceived ideas of Danny Brown take a tumble when Mr Brown shows his fluency in Spanish and also reveals Lord Melbury, who Basil has been sucking up to for some time, to be a conman.

Danny Brown Quote [The very common Danny Brown, as Basil sees him, wants a room]:
Danny Brown: Got a room for tonight mate?
Basil: I shall have to see sir…single?
Danny Brown: Yea…no, make it a double, I feel lucky today.


Mr Wareing


Actor: Terence Coloney

Episode: A Touch of Class

Occupation: Unknown

Personality: Very patient up to a point.

Events: Throughout the episode, the Wareings patiently wait for their drinks order to be served, but Sybil is too lazy and Basil is too engrossed with catering to the every whim of the fake Lord Melbury. After having had enough, Mr Wareing has to bark the order to Basil in reception. Basil finally serves the Wareings.

Mr Wareing Quote [Basil has been distracted from getting Mr Wareing’s drinks order for some time]:


Sir Richard & Lady Morris


Actors: Martin Wyldeck & Pat Symons

Episode: A Touch of Class

Occupation: Aristocrats

Personality: Toffee-nosed snobs.

Events: The pair arrive at Fawlty Towers after being attracted by an advertisement that Basil placed in a highly respectable magazine which emphasised a no riff-raff policy. Unfortunately, the upper-class pair arrive just as Basil has been struck manic by the conman Lord Melbury. As Basil launches into a violent tirade against Lord Melbury, the Morrises leave vowing never to return. As they leave, Basil showers them with hypocritical insults.

The Morrises Quote [After Basil fails to stop Sir Richard and Lady Morris leaving]:
Sir Richard Morris: I’ve never been in such a place in my life. [They drive away]
Basil: You snobs. You stupid stuck-up, toffee-nosed, half-witted, upper-class piles of pus.


The Builders Guest Characters


Mr O’Reilly


Actor: David Kelly

Episode: A Touch of Class & The Builders

Occupation: Incompetent builder

Personality: A God-fearing Irish builder with a complete lack of expertise in the field of building.

Events: Basil talks to him over the phone in A Touch of Class about a garden wall he failed to build and instead just left the bricks lying there. When his workmen completely botch up the hotel renovations in The Builders, Mr O’Reilly feels the full wrath of Sybil and gets beaten over the head with an umbrella. Later, Basil, completely furious with Mr O’Reilly, is seen carrying a garden gnome which he intends to insert inside the incompetent Irishman.

Mr O’Reilly Quote [Mr O’Reilly trying to calm the manic Basil]:
Mr O’Reilly: The trouble with you, Mr. Fawlty, is that you worry too much. You keep it up like this and you’ll
have a stroke before fifty. Stone dead you’ll be.

Basil: Suits me.


Mr Stubbs


Actor: James Appleby

Episode: The Builders

Occupation: Professional builder

Personality: Comes across as an extremely professional and diligent builder in stark contrast to the hapless Mr O’Reilly.

Events: Rejected by Basil as being far too expensive, the cheap but also incompetent O’Reilly is hired by Basil instead. When Mr Stubbs inspects O’Reilly’s work, he tells the Fawltys that the whole building is in danger of falling down and offers to repair it.

Mr Stubbs Quote [Professional builder Mr stubbs inspecting O’Reilly’s handiwork]:
Mr Stubbs: That’s a supporting wall, Mrs Fawlty. It could give way any moment.
Sybil: Any moment?
Mr Stubbs: Yes, God help the floors above! Look, keep this door shut until I can get a screwjack to prop it up, before the bloody lot comes
in…I don’t know cowboys…


O’Reilly’s Workmen


Actors: Michael Cronin/Barney Dorman/Michael Halsey

Episode: The Builders

Occupation: Bad workmen

Personality: From left to right, Lurphy, Kerr and Jones. Lurphy is quick to temper.

Events: With his language problems, Manuel has trouble communicating with the workmen from O’Reilly’s. Manuel speaks over the phone with the absent Basil who gets increasingly annoyed with the confused Spaniard. As a nasty trick Basil gets Manuel to call Lurphy, the most aggressive of the three workmen, a hideous orangutan – so Lurphy punches Manuel on the nose.

O’Reilly’s Workmen Quote [Basil has some misunderstandings with O’Reilly’s workmen]:
Manuel: Ah… Hello, men!
Lurphy: Good day, now.
Manuel: Eh, you are men!
Lurphy: YouÖ What?
Manuel: You’re men!
Lurphy: Are you tryin’ to be funny?
Manuel: Huh?
Lurphy: I said, are you tryin’ to be funny?
Kerr: Not here, sport, not here.
Manuel: You are men with Orelly!
Jones: What?
Manuel: You Orelly men!
Lurphy: What does that mean?
Manuel: You Orelly?
Lurphy: [angry] You watch it!
Manuel: Where Orelly?
Jones: What’s he goin’ on about?
Kerr: He means O’Reilly.
Lurphy: Wha…! Oh, yes! Dat’s right, yeah. We are “Orelly men.”
Lurphy: [to the other workmen under his breath] Thick as a plank.


Delivery Man


Actor: George Lee

Episode: The Builders

Occupation: Delivery man

Personality: Very irritable and impatient.

Events: A garden gnome is delivered to Fawlty Towers and unfortunately only Manuel is on reception, making the simple task of signing a delivery note excessively complicated.

Delivery Man Quote [The garden gnome is delivered and Manuel is on reception]:
Delivery Man: Where’s the real boss? The generalissimo.
Manuel: In Madrid!


The Wedding Party Guest Characters




Actor: Trevor Adams

Episode: The Wedding Party

Occupation: Unknown

Personality: Hip young man in a very flirtatious relationship with his girlfriend, Jean.

Events: Alan has to endure Basil’s reaction of disgust when he tries to book a double room with his girlfriend. When Alan asks where a chemist’s shop would be open, Basil gets the wrong end of the stick and is even more taken aback, believing that Alan wants to buy a condom. Alan also experiences Basil’s seemingly hypocritical behaviour as Basil is discovered in numerous inadvertant compromising positions with various people in
the hotel.

Alan Quote [The prudish Basil reluctant to give Alan and his girlfriend, Jean, a double room]:
Basil: Now, what’s going on here? You’re not married, is that it?…Well, I can’t give you a double room, then.
Alan: Oh, look…
Basil: It’s against the law.
Alan: What law?
Basil: The law of England. Nothing to do with me.




Actor: April Walker

Episode: The Wedding Party

Occupation: Unknown

Personality: Flirtatious girlfriend of Alan.

Events: Jean, who Polly has known for years, is suspected by Basil to be one of a member of some sex maniacs operating in the hotel. In fact she is the daughter of the Lloyd’s and she is a witness to Basil’s seemingly hypocritical behaviour as he is found in compromising positions with Manuel.

Jean Quote [Jean inquiring about the room]:
Jean: Is the room airy?
Basil: Well, it’s got air in it.


Mrs Peignoir


Actor: Yvonne Gillan

Episode: The Wedding Party

Occupation: Antique dealer

Personality: Wealthy, flirty French middle-aged Antique dealer.

Events: Mrs Peignoir takes a distinct liking to Basil throughout the episode. After a night on the booze, she gets back to the hotel and accidentally trips over. When Alan and Jean get back to the hotel, it looks to them as though Basil and Mrs Peignoir are in the middle of an intimate situation. Later, Basil has to fend off Mrs Peignoir’s amorous advances while Sybil is away. Unfortunately, Sybil gets back early leaving Basil having to think quick on his feet.

Mrs Peignoir Quote [Conversation between Mrs Peignoir and Basil]:
Mrs Peignoir: [Asking for coffee with her breakfast] Cafe au lait.
Basil: CafÈ what?
Mrs Peignoir: Au lait.
Basil: Ah. [thinking she means “Ole,” the Spanish word for “Bravo!”] Ole. Quite.


Mr Lloyd


Actor: Conrad Philips

Episode: The Wedding Party

Occupation: Unknown

Personality: Seemingly genial man.

Events: When Mr Lloyd innocently hugs his daughter, Basil comes to the ridiculous conclusion that he is conducting an affair in the hotel unbeknown to his wife, Mrs Lloyd, who is also staying at Fawlty Towers. Basil tells the Lloyds to leave, but then has to back-track when Sybil informs him of the situation. From then on, Mr Lloyd views Basil as some sort of nutter. Mr Lloyd’s view of Basil falls even further when Basil is constantly found in compromising positions with various patrons of the hotel.

Mr Lloyd Quote [Basil explaining to the Lloyds why he ordered them to leave after misunderstanding their behaviour]:
Basil: I’m so sorry, my wife made a mistake.
Mr LLoyd: [Referring to Sybil marrying Basil]Yes, I think she probably did!


Mrs Lloyd


Actor: Diana king

Episode: The Wedding Party

Occupation: Unknown

Personality: Very patient woman.

Events: Thinking that her husband is having an illicit affair in the hotel right under her nose, Basil tries to delay Mrs Lloyd from going into her room and discovering her husband’s adulterous behaviour with a young woman. Basil’s pathetic delaying tactics include showing Mrs Lloyd the hotel’s new renovations and giving her a long rambling explanation of why another room is probably better than the one she has taken, even though both rooms are the same.

Mrs Lloyd Quote [Basil delaying Mrs Lloyd as he thinks her husband is entertaining another woman in her room]:
Basil: Mrs Lloyd, I’m so sorry…but this is a much nicer room…than the one we’ve given you…
Mrs Lloyd: What?
Basil: I was saying that i was sorry that this room is so much nicer than yours…and I want to bring you in here
now and show it to you…and to apologise…in case you found out about it later and got rather cross. Now, the
point is…um…the point is…if it turns out you don’t like your room, then we could always move you in here, but
i don’t think it’s worth doing it until you’ve definitely decided that you don’t like that one as much as this one,
and then we can sort of sit down round a table, discuss it, chew it over…and then it will be a piece of cake.

Mrs Lloyd: [Going back into her own room]But this room…is exactly the same as…that one…


The Hotel Inspectors Guest Characters


Mr Hutchinson


Actor: Bernard Cribbins

Episode: The Hotel Inspectors

Occupation: Spoon salesman

Personality: Mr Hutchinson is a loud and annoying pernickety bore with an irritating habit of using many words when a few would do.

Events: Mr Hutchinson’s precise attitude and petty demands rile Basil and polly, but when Mr Hutchinson reveals that he has a wide experience of hotels, Basil gets the wrong end of the stick and assumes that he must be one of the covert hotel inspectors operating in town. After some grovelling towards Mr Hutchinson, Basil finds out that he is in fact a spoon salesman. After Basil assaults him in the dining room, Mr Hutchinson retaliates with some violence of his own. Mr Hutchinson is finally sent on his way with some custard pies and a suitcase full of milk.

Mr Hutchinson Quote [Polly receiving one of Mr Hutchinson’s charm offensives]:
Mr Hutchinson: How do you do?
Polly: How do you do?
Mr Hutchinson: Wait a minute a minute, we’ve met before, I think.
Polly: Yes, I served you at breakfast.
Mr Hutchinson: Oh, yes, and you spilled the grapefruit juice, didn’t you, you naughty girl?
Polly: And you moved the glass, didn’t you?


Mr Walt


Actor: James Cossins

Episode: The Hotel Inspectors

Occupation: Outboard Motor Salesman

Personality: Mr Walt is a bit brash and abrupt, rather irritable but with a very good knowledge of wine.

Events: Gets on Basil’s nerves when he complains that his glass of wine is corked, forcing Basil to open a new one. Basil comes to the conclusion that Mr Walt must be a hotel inspector and after Mr Walt’s poor service, Basil attempts to bribe him with money. Mr Walt has to tell the now crying Basil that he in fact sells outboard motors. Mr Walt also has to endure the incompetent Manuel shifting him unceremoniously from table to table in the dining room.

Mr Walt Quote [Being moved to another table a second time]:
Mr Walt: Look, I did ask the waiter!
Basil: Well, he’s hopeless, isn’t he? Might as well ask the cat.


Hotel Inspectors


Episode: The Hotel Inspectors

Occupation: Hotel Inspectors

Personality: Impossible to tell as they are on screen for such a short time. One of the three says nothing.

Events: Basil and Manuel assault the odious Mr Hutchinson with custard pies and pour a jug of milk into his briefcase as three
hotel inspectors look on. Basil, looking very pleased with himself, goes behind the reception desk and says: what can I do for you three gentlemen? Realising that they are the hotel inspectors, Basil shreeks loudly.

Hotel Inspectors Quote [Hotel inspectors arrive just as Basil is about to assault Mr Hutchinson]:
Hotel Inspector 1: Twenty-six bedrooms, twelve with private bathrooms.
Hotel Inspector 2: Why don’t you have dinner here and Chris and I can try the Claremont.
Hotel Inspector 1: Ok…the owners one Basil Fawlty.


Gourmet Night Guest Characters


Colonel Hall


Actor: Allan Cuthbertson

Episode: Gourmet Night

Occupation: JP

Personality: Colonel Hall has a prominent nervous twitch and a forthright desire for top-notch service.

Events: Colonel Hall is very put out when Basil announces that the only dish on the menu is duck. Later, Polly gets on the wrong side of him when she jokes about serving him mousse with a hair inside.

Colonel Hall Quote [Colonel Hall complaining about his order]:
Colonel Hall: Waitress.
Polly: Yes?
Colonel Hall: There’s a hair in my mousse.
Polly: Well, don’t talk too loud. Everybody will want one.
Colonel Hall: WHAT!?


Mrs Hall


Actor: Ann Way

Episode: Gourmet Night

Occupation: JP

Personality: Very short but also very quick to show her displeasure to Basil.

Events: Mrs Hall has to endure Basil’s embarrassing conversation during which he cannot stop mentioning the fact that she is
virtually a midget. She later has to taste her mullet starter which is served raw. Mrs Hall bluntly calls Basil an “ignoramus” for serving up such a disgusting dish.

Mrs Hall Quote [Basil informing the dinner guests of the improvised menu]:
Basil: So, uh, this is your new menu.
Colonel Hall: [reading] Duck with orange; duck with cherries; duck surprise.
Mrs Hall: What’s duck surprise?
Basil: Er… that’s duck without orange or cherries.


The Twitchens


Actors: Richard Caldicot/Betty Huntley-Wright

Episode: Gourmet Night

Occupation: Mr Twichen is a Rotarian

Personality: Both clearly not riff-raff at least according to Basil.

Events: Basil forgets the surname of the Twitchens and thus suffers from acute embarrassment when he tries to introduce then to the Hall’s.

The Twitchens Quote [Lionel Twitchen corrects the mispronounciation of his name]:
Mr Twitchen: Twychen actually.


Mr Heath


Actors: Jeffrey Segal

Episode: Gourmet Night

Occupation: Unknown

Personality: Hen-pecked husband with an odious child.

Events: Totally under the thumb of his domineering wife who dotes on their spoilt son, Ronald. When Ronald demands some salad cream, Mr Heath tells him Th-h-h-h-h-h-h-his is very good, referring to the mayonnaise. Mrs Heath firmly repeats that he likes salad cream.

Mr Heath Quote [Mrs Heath admonishes her husband after he rebukes their son Ronald for being rude to Basil]:
Mr Heath: [To his son, Master Heath] Now look-look-look here, old chap…
Mrs Heath: [Severely to her husband, Mr Heath] Shut up! Leave him alone!


Mrs Heath


Actors: Elizabeth Benson

Episode: Gourmet Night

Occupation: Unknown

Personality: Very protective of her child and critical of her husband.

Events: Mrs Heath is very annoyed by the fact that Fawlty Towers doesn’t have salad cream as in her experience most restaurants have it and her son is very partial to it. Basil reacts to her by launching into a diatribe.

Mrs Heath Quote [Basil sarcastically replies to Mrs Heath’s comments about their child]:
Mrs Heath: [To Basil] He’s very cleverÖ rather highly strung.
Basil: [Sarcastically] YesÖ Yes, he should be.


Master Heath (Ronald)


Actors: Tony Page

Episode: Gourmet Night

Occupation: Child

Personality: Extremely annoying spoilt brat.

Events: Complains bitterly about Fawlty Towers. According to Ronald, the chef is the wrong nationality, the chips are the
wrong shape, and he prefers salad cream to the freshly made mayonnaise.

Master Heath Quote [Master Heath is particularly fond of proper salad cream]:
Mrs Heath: [Firmly] He likes salad cream.
Master Heath: That’s Puke, that is.
Basil: Well, at least it’s fresh puke!




Actor: Steve Plytas

Episode: Gourmet Night

Occupation: Professional chef

Personality: Homosexual and temperamental chef with a liking for the booze.

Events: When “Gourmet Night” arrives, Fawlty Towers new professional chef Kurt, a man recommended to Basil by Andre, the restaurateur, takes a romantic interest in Manuel. When Manuel fails to reciprocate, Kurt gets blink drunk putting “Gourmet Night” into jeopardy. Without a chef, Basil has to get the food from Andre – duck cooked in three different ways.

Kurt Quote [The chef Kurt is drunk and Gourmet night is imminent]:
Basil: [Frantically typing at a typewriter] He’s out! He’s flat out! So AndrÈ’s, uh…
Sybil: Who is?
Basil: What!
Sybil: Who is out?
Basil: Kurt! Who do you think, Henry Kissinger?




Actor: Andre Maranne

Episode: Gourmet Night

Occupation: Restaurateur

Personality: Successful restaurateur and possibly kitchen taskmaster judging by how he barks at one of his staff.

Events: After Kurt proves to be a total disaster, Andre is called upon to produce some dishes at short notice. A kitchen
mix-up results in Basil taking away a huge trifle in place of the duck.

Andre Quote [Basil and Sybil are entertaining Andre and discussing the upcoming gourmet evening with him]:
Sybil: The only place I’ve ever seen him eat is your restaurant, Andre. Now he’s stuffing it away like a hamster.
Basil: Really, Sybil.
Sybil: We’re going to buy him a great big wheel to run around in when he’s got a moment, or he’ll get like a big bad-tempered tomato.


The Germans Guest Characters




Actor: Brenda Cowling

Episode: The Germans

Occupation: Nurse

Personality: Chubby and plain, strict but highly efficient nurse.

Events: Basil is put out by the sister’s brusque manner and when he enters the hosptal in a concussive state lets her feel the
full force of his rudeness much to Sybil’s dismay.

Sister Quote [Basil in hospital having suffered a concussion, regains consciousness]:
Basil: [to nurse, a little groggily] My God, you’re ugly, aren’t you?
Sybil: Basil?
Sister: I’ll… I’ll get the doctor.
Basil: You need a plastic surgeon, dear, not a doctor.


The Germans


Actors: Willy Bowman/Nick Kane/Lisa Bergmayr/Dan Gillan

Episode: The Germans

Occupation: Unknown

Personality: Pleasant Germans.

Events: Basil in his concussed state introduces himself to the German guests – Ah, wonderful! WUNDERBAR! Ahh! Please allow me to introduce myself, I am the owner of Fawlty Towers. And may I welcome your war… your war… you wall… you all… you all, and hope that your stay will be a happy one. Now, would you like to eat first, or would you like a drink before the war… AHH! Er… trespassers will be tied up with piano wire… SORRY, SORRY! Basil’s constant mention of the war reduces one of the female German guests to tears. To cheer her up, he goosesteps through the dining room and reception.

The Germans Quote [Basil keeps mentioning things pertaining to WWII]:
Basil: Is there something wrong?
German Guest: Will you stop talking about the war?
Basil: Me? You started it.
German Guest: We did not!
Basil: Yes, you did. You invaded Poland.


Communication Problems Guest Characters


Mrs Richards


Actor: Joan Sanderson

Episode: Communication Problems

Occupation: Retired pensioner

Personality: Extremely annoying and irritating deaf woman.

Events: Mrs Richards complains immediately about her room even though, surprisingly for Fawlty Towers, there is nothing wrong with it. Because Mrs Richards is always misunderstanding things because she always has her hearing-aid turned down, Basil offers her a 60% reduction on her room, but of course she fails to hear. Later, Basil, so incensed by the annoying woman, virtually deafens Mrs Richards after he shouts down her ear after she has turned her hearing-aid on full volume.

Mrs Richards Quote [Scolding Polly for not revealing where her eyeglasses were located]:
Mrs Richards: Are you blind? They were on my head all the whole time, didn’t you see?
Mrs Richards: Didn’t God give you eyes?
Polly: Yes, but I don’t use ’em ’cause it wears the batteries out.


Mr Firkins


Actor: Johnny Shannon

Episode: Communication Problems

Occupation: Unknown

Personality: Must be very easily pleased as he is one of Fawlty Towers few satisfied customers.

Events: Mr Firkins has somehow enjoyed his stay at Fawlty Towers and decides to give Basil a tip on a horse. Basil remarks that he used to be a betting man (Sybil put a stop to his enjoyment a time ago), but Mr Firkins give him the tip anyway, in Sybil’s earshot, on a horse called Dragonfly.

Mr Firkins Quote [Basil is given a betting tip from Mr Firkins but tries to keep it a secret from Sybil]:
Basil: (to Sybil) A satisfied customer. We should have him stuffed.
Mr Firkins: (from the main door) Oh, Mr Fawlty. Three o’clock Exeter. Dragonfly. Right? (he leaves)
Basil: …Yes. Good luck. Jolly good luck with it. (Sybil stares daggers at Basil)


Mr Mackintosh


Actor: Bill Bradley

Episode: Communication Problems

Occupation: Unknown

Personality: A very tight Scotsman.

Events: As Mrs Richards does her best to annoy Basil at reception, another guest, Mr Mackintosh, is just checking out. Mr Mackintosh queries an item on his bill with Basil clueless as to what it could be for. An exasperated Basil scrubs the item and saves the delighted Scotsman 32 pence.

Mr Mackintosh Quote [Mr Mackintosh queries the bill and is overjoyed when he saves 32 pence]:
Basil: Well, let’s scrub that 32p then, shall we? Let’s enjoy ourselves. There.
Mr Mackintosh: Oh, thank you very much. (Mr Mackintosh writes out a cheque for 32p)


The Psychiatrist Guest Characters


Mr(Dr) Abbott


Actor: Basil Henson

Episode: The Psychiatrist

Occupation: Psychiatrist

Personality: Very patient psychiatrist.

Events: Mr Abbott, a psychiatrist, is on holiday with his wife who is a paediatrician. Basil has a low opinion of psychiatrists, believing that they are all obsessed with sex. After an embarrassing lunch-time conversation with Mr Abbott – Basil thought Mr Abbott was discussing sex when in fact he was discussing holidays, Basil inundates the Abbotts with a series of seemingly pervy incidents as he attempts to find the young woman that Mr Johnson has sneaked into the hotel. Mr Abbott comments – there’s enough material in here for an entire conference about Basil’s mad behaviour.

Mr Abbott Quote [Mr Abbott asking Basil how often he and Sybil go on holiday. Basil thinks Mr Abbott is asking how often he and Sybil have sex]:
Mr Abbott: Once a year? Well, we knew it must be difficult. My wife couldn’t see how you could manage it at all.
Basil: [Affronted] Well, as you’ve asked, two or three times a week, actually.
Mr Abbott: A week?
Basil: Yes. Pretty normal, isn’t it? We’re quite normal down here in Torquay, you know.


Mrs(Dr) Abbott


Actor: Elspet Gray

Episode: The Psychiatrist

Occupation: Paediatrician

Personality: Very patient paediatrician.

Events: Mrs Abbott, a paediatrician, is on holiday with her husband who is a psychiatrist. Both the Abbotts share the view that
Basil is a bit odd, especially after a very weird conversation in the dining room. They view him as even odder when he appears at their hotel window and peers in just as Mrs Abbott is in her underwear. Basil is actually searching for a young woman that Mr Johnson has smuggled into the hotel.

Mrs Abbott Quote [Sybil engaging Mrs Abbott in small-talk]:
Sybil: It’s a relatively new profession, psychiatry, isn’t it?
Mrs Abbott: Well, Freud started about 1880.
Sybil: Yes, but it’s only now we’re seeing them on the television.


Mr Johnson


Actor: Nicky Henson

Episode: The Psychiatrist

Occupation: Unknown

Personality: Slightly arrogant medallioned playboy.

Events: Sybil takes an immediate liking to the young Mr Johnson, in complete contrast to Basil who sees him as a medallioned oik: Basil comments, I’ve never seen so many medals round one neck in my life. He must be the bravest orangutan in Britain. When Basil suspects that Mr Johnson may have smuggled a young girl into his hotel room, he does everything he can to catch him, even if it leaves him looking mentally disturbed in the process.

Mr Johnson Quote [Sybil thinks Mr Johnson is a playboy]:
Sybil: Good evening, Mr. Johnson!
Mr Johnson: Evening! Any messages?
Polly: Um, three, I think.
Sybil: Three! Everybody wants you, don’t they?
Mr Johnson: (chuckles) I wouldn’t say that.
Sybil: Ah, well, you’re only single once.
Basil: (calling from office) Twice can be arranged.


Raylene Miles


Actor: Luan Peters

Episode: The Psychiatrist

Occupation: Tourist

Personality: Easy-going Australian girl.

Events: Although Basil is clearly attracted to the young Raylene, the compromising positions in which he finds himself with her are purely accidental. They include: touching her breast when grasping for the light switch, hiding in her wardrobe and leaving two black hand-prints on her breasts. These events happen because Basil is searching for the elusive girlfriend of Mr Johnson; Sybil witnesses all of them.

Raylene Miles Quote [After Basil is caught yet again in a compromising position with Raylene]:
Sybil: Do you really image, even in your wildest dreams, that a girl like this could possibly be interested in an aging, Brilliantine,
stick-insect like you?


Mrs Johnson


Actor: Aimee Delamain

Episode: The Psychiatrist

Occupation: Retired pensioner

Personality: Mr Johnson’s friendly elderly mother.

Events: Mrs Johnson emerges from Mr Johnson’s hotel room shocking Basil who expected to see his bit of crumpet.

Mrs Johnson Quote [Basil expecting to expose Mr Johnson’s girlfriend instead meets up with his elderly mother]:
Basil: Old mother Johnson popped up for a quickie, did she? May I meet her?
Mr Johnson: Certainly.
Basil: Mother Johnson, mother Johnson? Come out, come out, wherever you are.[Mr Johnson’s mother emerges from the room] How do you do? Are you enjoying your stay?
Mrs Johnson: Yes, thank you.




Actor: Imogen Bickford-Smith

Episode: The Psychiatrist

Occupation: Unknown

Personality: Mr Johnson’s amorous girlfriend.

Events: Mr Johnson’s girlfriend is the person around which the whole plot of The Psychiatrist revolves. Mr Johnson has
smuggled her into his room and Basil is determined to flush her out and convince Sybil that he is prowling around the hotel to catch Mr Johnson breaking the hotel’s rules and not to flirt with the young Australian girl, Raylene.

Girlfriend Quote [Mr Johnson ordering a bottle of champagne for himself and the girfriend he has smuggled into his room]:
Basil: One bottle of champagne, for one?
Mr Johnson: Thank you.
Basil: And one glass?
Mr Johnson: That’s all I’ll need, unless you’d care to join me?
Basil: No, thank you. Not while I’m on the job.
Mr Johnson: That’s when I enjoy it the most.


Waldorf Salad Guest Characters


Mr Hamilton


Actor: Bruce Boa

Episode: Waldorf Salad

Occupation: Unknown

Personality: Harry Hamilton is a loud, boisterous, demanding American who arrives at Fawlty Towers with his wife.

Events: Mr Hamilton complains about everything, including the bad service, Basil’s inability to make a Waldorf salad and understand what a Screwdriver is. He causes a mutiny among the guests who are also angry about the poor service at Fawlty Towers. Basil eventually cracks under the strain and decides to leave the hotel himself.

Mr Hamilton Quote [After elaborately explaining why he has no ingredients for a Waldorf Salad]:
Basil: So, it makes you think how lucky you are, doesn’t it? I mean, here we all are, with all our limbs functioning and, quite frankly, if you’ve got your health, what else matters?
Mr Hamilton: What a bunch of crap!


Mrs Hamilton


Actor: Claire Nielson

Episode: Waldorf Salad

Occupation: Unknown

Personality: Mrs Hamilton is English but has lived in California for almost twelve years with her American husband.

Events: Try as she may, Mrs Hamilton fails to calm her husband, Harry Hamilton, as he leads the hotel’s guests in a revolt. With her husband becoming more and more incensed by Fawlty Tower’s bad service, Mrs Hamilton is the peacemaker and tries numerous times to calm him down.

Mrs Hamilton Quote [Sybil conversing with Mrs Hamilton in the dining room]:
Mrs Hamilton: How long have you been married, Mrs Fawlty?
Sybil: Oh, since 1485.


The Kipper and the Corpse Guest Characters


Dr Price


Actor: Geoffrey Palmer

Episode: The Kipper and the Corpse

Occupation: Doctor

Personality: Bog-standard Doctor.

Events: Dr Price diagnoses Mr Leeman’s death, announcing that he has been dead for some time, thus calming down Basil who suspected that the out-of-date kippers caused his death. Dr Price is aghast that at one point the body is being stored in the kitchen, but takes a chance on some sausages because he is starving hungry.

Dr Price Quote [Dr Price getting hungry]:
Dr Price: Look, I’m a doctor. I’m a doctor and I want my sausages!


Mr Leeman


Actor: Derek Royle

Episode: The Kipper and the Corpse

Occupation: Businessman

Personality: In The Kipper and the Corpse Mr Leeman’s personality ranges from very tired to completely stiff.

Events: After being on the receiving end of Basil’s customary charm whilst feeling ill, Mr Leeman spends the rest of the episode as a corpse after being found dead in bed by Basil in the morning. From there, his corpse is hid in a wardrobe, stuffed in a linen basket and then propped up against a coat rack.

Mr Leeman Quote [The unwell Mr Leeman fails to hear Basil]:
Basil: Good night![Mr Leeman doesn’t answer]
Basil: I said, “Good night!”
Mr Leeman: Oh, good night!
Basil: Didn’t hurt, did it?


Mr Leeman’s Colleagues


Actors: Pamela Buchner/Raymond Mason/Robert McBain

Episode: The Kipper and the Corpse

Occupation: Businessmen

Personality: Shown above from left to right – Miss Young, Mr Zebedee, Mr Xerxes. They are cordial businessmen.

Events: Mr Leeman is found dead in the morning and is then shuffled around the hotel by Basil, Polly and Manuel. When Mr Leeman’s three colleagues come to “collect him”, Basil misunderstands and assumes that they have come to collect the body. After some messing around trying to discover the whereabouts of the corpse, Basil leaves it to Sybil to explain that Mr Leeman is deceased to the bemused businessmen.

Mr Leeman’s Colleagues Quote [Mr Leeman and three colleagues arrive at Fawlty Towers]:
Miss Young: Are you sure you’re feeling all-right?
Mr Leeman: Fine..fine..just a little..[holds his stomach]
Miss Young: Oh yes of course.
Mr Xerxes: Well you get straight to bed and we’ll pick you up here at nine-thirty


The Whites


Actors: Richard Davies/Elizabeth Benson

Episode: The Kipper and the Corpse

Occupation: Unknown

Personality: Normal Welsh couple.

Events: The Whites first experience Basil’s insane side when they have to wait outside their hotel room while Basil is supposedly making it especially clean for them. When they finally get into their room, there is a woman hiding in the wardrobe. Basil explains her away as a madwoman who likes hiding in wardrobes. Later, The Whites crash their car in shock when they spot Basil and Manuel carrying the dead Mr Leeman outside the hotel.

The Whites Quote [Polly delaying the Whites from going into their room as Basil has a corpse inside]:
Polly: Oh, is this your room.
Mr White: Yes.
Polly: Oh it’s lovely isn’t it.
Mrs White: Yes.
Polly: Did you enjoy your breakfast.
Mr White: Oh yes it was lovely, yes. Do you think we can go inside and get our…
Polly: Not really.


Mrs Chase


Actor: Mavis Pugh

Episode: The Kipper and the Corpse

Occupation: Retired

Personality: Fussy, elderly widow who dotes on her beloved shih-tzu dog, Prince.

Events: Mrs Chase bores her fellow guests with long dreary anecdotes about her shih-tzu dog. She insists on having all the windows closed in the bar lest her beloved dog should catch a chill, sparking some venomous comments from Basil. The next day when Polly and Manuel are bit by the dog, they get their revenge by lacing the dog’s sausages with chilli powder, tabasco sauce and hot pepper, giving it a severe stomach

Mrs Chase Quote [Manuel is checking the window for a draught that is disturbing Mrs Chase’s dog]:
Mrs Chase: We have to be very careful, Mr. Fawlty. He’s not very strong.
Basil: Indeed, yes. A rapid movement of air could damage him irreparably! If, um, if only one
could keep him in air-tight containers.


The Anniversary Guest Characters




Actor: Una Stubbs

Episode: The Anniversary

Occupation: Unknown

Personality: A timid woman married to Roger, another guest at the Fawltys fifteenth wedding anniversary.

Events: Alice desperately wants to go upstairs to see the supposedly ailing Sybil, so Basil has to stymie her intentions by
feigning a pain in his leg. Alice is driven to despair by her husband, Roger, who seems to get great pleasure out of winding up Basil to breaking-point.

Alice Quote [Alice wants to see non-existent Sybil upstairs]:
Alice: She’s up there on her own, I’m sure she’d like a little company. I know I would.
Basil: Well you wouldn’t if you looked like her…she’s very swollen up…she’s looks very…you know what Sybil’s like about her appearance.
Alice: Don’t be silly Basil. She won’t mind me seeing her
Basil: Oh she would..I think she would.
Alice: But it’s her anniversary. She’s up there all on her own.
Basil: Aaaahhhh!![Basil feigns leg pain]




Actor: Ken Campbell

Episode: The Anniversary

Occupation: Unknown

Personality: Very annoying wind-up merchant who is married to Alice, another guest at the Fawltys anniversary party.

Events: Roger suspects that something fishy is going on and tries to wind up Basil by making a constant stream of supposedly
witty remarks. After one such remark, Basil retorts: you read a lot of Oscar Wilde, do you Rog? Before leaving the hotel, Roger
tells Basil that he had great fun.

Roger Quote [Roger is not convinced by Basil’s story]:
Roger: It was just that it was a bit funny, Kitty…seeing that Northern woman in the car.
Basil: Funny?…Oh, I see, you mean you think that was Sybil in the car and she’s not upstairs, is that it? Oh, I understand.
I’ve got it now. Right, well, what are we all waiting around here for? Come on. All of you.





Actor: Pat Keen

Episode: The Anniversary

Occupation: Nurse

Personality: A nurse married to Arthur, another guest at the Fawltys fifteenth wedding anniversary.

Events: Virginia repeatedly demands to see Sybil as she is so worried about the horrendous symptoms that Basil has described: swollen thighs, swollen eyes and a lost voice. Eventually Basil relents and allows them all to see Sybil, or more accurately, Polly disguised as Sybil. When Virginia attempts to examine Polly, she gets a punch on the nose for her trouble.

Virginia Quote [Virginia is sceptical about Basil’s explanation for the unwell Sybil]:

Virginia: There is something very peculiar about all this. I won’t stand here while an old friend like Sybil..
Basil: Look, it’s perfectly Sybil. Simple’s not well. She lost her throat and her voice hurt. The doctor came and said it was a bit
serious. Not a lot; a bit. He went away, she started to puff up, he’s coming back later this afternoon, and it’s best for her to be on
her own. Now what is so peculiar about that?

Roger: Her driving round in the town.




Actor: Robert Arnold

Episode: The Anniversary

Occupation: Unknown

Personality: Arthur is a pipe-smoker married to Virginia, another guest at the Fawltys fifteenth wedding anniversary.

Events: Arthur says very little except ask Polly for a beer and implore Basil to let them see Sybil. When Reg hurts his ankle while visiting the disguised Polly, Arthur is the one who assists him to walk while leaving the hotel.

Arthur Quote [Arthur wants to see Sybil]:
Arthur: Well we are her oldest friends old man, and it can only do her good, and we have all come over here to see you both.
Basil: Well I’m sorry if youíve been put out. I mean you’ll have some drinks, plenty of nuts, see your old friends, have some laughs, but if that’s not
good enough I’ll refund your petrol for you.




Actor: Denyse Alexander

Episode: The Anniversary

Occupation: Unknown

Personality: Kitty is married to Reg, another guest at the Fawltys fifteenth wedding anniversary.

Events: It is Kitty who throws a huge spanner into the works when she mentions that she and Reg saw Sybil in town in her red
car. Basil has to explain that it was probably a Northern woman who looks slightly like Sybil, who he met once at a fete. While visiting the disguised Polly, Kitty hurts her arm when she falls over in the darkened room.

Kitty Quote [Basil’s plan to explain the missing Sybil hits a snag]:
Kitty: Sybil’s not here is she?
Basil: Er, no, no.
Kitty: There you see I told you so. I just saw her in the town.
Roger: What!?
Kitty: In her car. In the high-street.
Basil: That’s another woman.
Kitty: What other woman?
Basil: That woman who looks slightly like Sybil.





Actor: Roger Hume

Episode: The Anniversary

Occupation: Unknown

Personality: Reg is married to Kitty, another guest at the Fawltys fifteenth wedding anniversary.

Events: Reg says little except to entreat Basil to let them all see the supposedly ailing Sybil. While visiting the disguised Polly
in the darkened bedroom, he trips over and hurts his ankles. Arthur lends him a hand to walk.

Reg Quote [Reg also wants to see the supposedly ailing Sybil]:
Kitty: Can’t we just put our heads round the corner.
Basil: No I’m afraid not, she mustn’t have any excitement.
Reg: Oh Basil!
Basil: What do you mean – oh Basil!




Actor: Christine Shaw

Episode: The Anniversary & The Wedding Party

Occupation: Unknown

Personality: Constantly in telephone conversations with Sybil, with Audrey usually pouring her heart out.

Events: She appears in The Anniversary comforting Sybil in the car after Sybil mistakenly believes that Basil has forgotten
their 15th wedding anniversary.

Audrey Quote [After Sybil’s telephone conversation with Audrey in The Wedding Party]:
Basil: How’s Audrey?
Sybil: She’s in a terrible state.
Basil: Ah, good, good.


Basil the Rat Guest Characters


Mr Carnegie


Actor: John Quarmby

Episode: Basil the Rat

Occupation: Health Inspector

Personality: Pedantic and highly efficient no-nonsense health inspector.

Events: Mr Carnegie is the bringer of bad news to Fawlty Towers. As a health inspector he has to reel off a long list of complaints and he emphasises that these need to be corrected soon to prevent imminent closure. He comes back the next day to check that corrections are being made and while there decides to have a lunch of veal. After coming close to eating poisoned veal, Mr Carnegie orders cheese and biscuits. As the biscuit tin is opened, Mr Carnegie stares dumbfounded into the eyes of a rat.

Mr Carnegie Quote [Mr Carnegie making a disparaging remark about the Fawlty Towers kitchen]:
Mr Carnegie:The only “gourmets” you’ll find scavenging in THIS kitchen will be Kamikaze ones.


Ronald & Quentina


Actors: Sabina Franklyn & David Neville

Episode: Basil the Rat

Occupation: Unknown

Personality: Ronald is obviously an aristocrat and Quentina is his posh fiancee.

Events: Manuel looks as though he is perving at Quentina’s legs, but really there is a rat underneath her and Ronald’s dinner
table. Ronald becomes peeved and eventually he and Quentina decide to leave. A rat has made its way into Quentina’s handbag and Basil secretly tries to extricate it while they are standing in reception. When Ronald discovers Basil’s fumbling, he offers to give him a “bunch-of-fives.”

Ronald & Quentina Quote [Basil explaining that the veal is off as he doesn’t know which one has the poison on it]:
Basil: Well, I’m sorry, but th-th-th-the veal is, in fact, off. Well, it was never really on, quite honestly – that’s a misprint.
Ronald: A misprint?
Basil: Yes, it should say um… eel.
Ronald: Eel Escalope?